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make something.. out of mifitting.. like the beetelnut girls..

something out of not beeing a ritch girl,improvized life.improvized beauty. something that i cant deal with , something that really puzzels me and pisses me off and something that i cant talk about. i think that s the key.. and i think it should all be simple, and

somehow something that you cant talk about. ok, expressive.. but somehow i dont know.. its not me. its a phenomenon.e

work. i cant belive i will have to work again. what the fuck did i do in the last 3 years of my life, that im now again nothing like before.. but maybe thats exactly what i need, a slap of real life again.. life was much more fun and real before i got into this odd payed isolation from reality.

i feel somehow happy to have to go into the struggle , and work for myself again, and make my own money..

this kind of dependence, is eating me up.

im dying to make something that is really about me.i dont want to give a shit about the dream of other peoples trouble.. fuck that.

i just want to make some money get myself some kind of place, and distance and see who i am actually. i have a feeling that from everything i was ” interested ” in in the last years.. i lost touch with myself..i need to find things about myself really.i mean i thought that im self obsessed, but actually thats just a mask up.. a way to escape from myself. ‘

and everyone i have been with so far, was just comfort. another way to escape myself.

just be fun, and not really have to confront what i can and cannot do. im tried of copying anything. or having someone elses ideas. this is something that i really want. to be alone for a while..


i just saw uffies music and die antwoort.. but the thing that really buggs me in the “young”  “” culture””

that makes me feel like.. ah god i dont want to be part of this anyhow.. is that

its all stupid and enmtpy and repetetive.. even when they think they are doing something sooo new they are still puzzeling and recycling old stuff..

made me think about advertizing and the boring canons of social relationships that they portrait, or construct..

made me think how would fashion look if it was made for me. only for me

and how would advertizing function if i would project my own ideas about men women and age into it. if it was not made to appeal to masses would it then not me more interesting?

AND would the interesting or diffferent then not appeal to everybody,as everybody would want to feel part of it, in order to not be left out becuase of oldfashioness.. or studpidity..

i would like it if women would be more menly more gay.. if the line between straight women and lezzie women would not be so distingished.. i would liek it if not everything was so generig andn uniformed, if clothes would not be so obused for the expression

of identiy, i hate that. i find it so bring

i was also imagining some clothes that would- i think about clothes so much, becuase its something that we all share, and advertizing and consumerism, is something that we cannot avoid but that shapes our lifes so much,

i am not interested in amking

i would like to rpesent sexual and social identities in the way that i see it, not critisize but more offer a new my own vision of things.

were all surrounded with dreams , so it would end up beeing something very dream like ish.

i would also like to make a video where i would wear a suit, that would make me look like i am 50 years old, and then make a porn wearing this suit. the young body inside would kind of be so vivid, and real and the heavy old body on the outise would make things heavy for the young on.. which is the inverted state of how i feel inside..

also i would like to print out all the stuff i have been writing, and call it something like just now i saw it :

express yourself, start blogging. suicide for the artist.

print it all out and connect it, pile it up.

also take some of our skype talks and reinact it.

all the things that we can never tell each other in real life. never.

A cumulative thesis show will continue forever, with work being added every year.

from the book art school – 21st century.

it would be good to make a survey of the text.

print out the proposition of the students, and to say what we embrace from them, what we don’t like, and new suggestions.

with this list , one of the walls of the department would be painted white,, and the text would be painted with a color that is not water proof.

so it would look like a love letter after it gets in the rain or tears. after the rain dried it out. there would be a new survey to look at what has changed, if there is any new ideas.

in the end pictures would be taken of each of the try, and this would be put in a booklet,

in a way it would be really nice to have  this so that the students could always answer for themselves :

what are we doing here/ what do we want/ why are we together and what can we do?


1. Historical context 2. People/subjects/individuals/other people/us/them 3. Infrastructure

Facilities Architecture Transport Networks

4. Geography/location 5. Built environment (building and immediate surroundings) 6. Power relationships 7. Time projection/occupation 8. Theoretical orientation 9. Strategy (application of the theoretical orientation) 10. Parallel spaces 11. Institutional relationships 12. Generational context 13. Self-consciousness 14. What does it provide/produce/exclude 15. Modes of refusal 16. Assumptions of smoothness 17. Social status18. Requirements and obligations 19. Mapping and location 20. Funding

Things will be out of sync. There will be a large sauna. The edge will be per- ceived from the inside and outside simultaneously. The idea of boundary push- ing will remain. There will be lots more bicycles. Some surprising things will be free. There will be more difference. There will still be a studio problem. There will be big sheds. There will still be a sense that one is forced to find an activity. Delusion will remain. The question will remain: What kind of space are we in? There will be an increasing use of enormous wooden headphones. A sense of the historically determined quality of art school decisions and con- ditions will increase over time. There will be an attack on pragmatism. There will remain a focus on the idea of student choice. This will remain an incom- plete project. There will be many places to sleep. There will be showers on de- mand. There will be the possibility of collective action. There may well be citizen artists. There will be a free or progressive tuition scale (increasing ex- pense with duration of attendance). There will definitely be massages from trusted people. There will be new forms of social engineering. This will take place close to fresh springs. There will be a sense that there is less structure. There will be an increasing alienation of labor. There will be an increase in proximity. There will be new protective systems. Some things will be more mobile. Some people will be more migratory. Some effects will remain local. There will still be a feeling that there is a problem of vacuum. Ideas will remain deterritorialized. Some structures will be disintegrated. There will be fewer clear representations of power within the hierarchy of the place. There will be no possibility of an architecture that clearly expresses relationships. There will be an end to the idea that architecture is loaded with connections to the future. There will be bigger dumpsters. There will be an increasing skepticism about architecture as an independent discipline. There will still have to be a building. There will be a sense that we are experiencing an excess of history from the first day. Sometimes it will be necessary to create a parasitical structure in rela- tion to the school. There will be enormous and amazing kitchens. In the man- ner of preschools, there will be reading lofts and soft places to rest. There will be a dacha nearby where one can eat and read and drink. Incomprehensible wealth will circle the school. There will be no equilibrium. Other power structures will


be mimicked. There will be an increasing exposure of power and dynamics. Who is “them” will remain a reasonable question. Some people will wonder how the future can be stopped, or hindered. There will be a reduction in ap- propriateness. There will be an increase in duration. Some will explore the potential of every possible resource. There will be large-scale three-dimension- al printers and scanners. Full-time computer programmers will be available at all times. Student status will remain unclear. There will be a free pass to every situation that is deemed relevant to the structure of the school. There will be even more examination of the idea of the university as a concept. An increas- ing attempt will be made to ensure an infection of disciplines by those who attend the school. Concrete, wood, and water will be combined in most of the buildings and structures. Large terraces will be covered with plants. The struc- ture will be located near the ocean. Compositing will be used as a method of production. A cumulative thesis show will continue forever, with work being added every year. There will be a frustrated desire for consistent knowledge from the beginning of the year. There will be an encouragement of nondirect- ed energy. Attempts will be made to create lots of seemingly arbitrary rules. There will be internal openness combined with public reticence. Friendly qual- ities will endure. Viewing ports will be suggested, but the idea that they are cut into studio walls will be rejected. There will be a well-loved swimming pool. There will be an abandoned climbing wall. Water will become the most popu- lar meeting place. Fighting gangsters will still provide a romantic model of masculinity; this will be suppressed. Italian restaurants will no longer exist. The studio will be a location of desire, but some people will fight against this. Some people will dream of the creation of an honest nostalgia. There will be many spaces that produce incomprehension. Role playing will be discouraged. Repetition will be impossible. Someone will always be doing something every day. There will be designated moments when you are there on your own, and you know it. There will be clear times when you alone are allowed in the build- ing. There will develop the option of manual labor—students can clean the windows, dig drainage ditches, and package chewing gum. A big experimental greenhouse will be donated to the place by an anonymous benefactor. Animals will roam free and cause problems from time to time. Artisanal food produc- tion onsite will go unnoticed over time. Confrontation with past desires will be accepted as a normal part of life. New relationships with service will produce a new understanding of obligations. There will be places to jump around and wrestle. Four-dimensional studies will become a well-loved fable from the past. Personal relationships will multiply. Claustrophobia will not exist. Gaps in


between shallowness and repetition will expand and fill the world with a whole new kind of artistic production. Teachers working alongside the students will forget to teach. Ghost towns will proliferate. Students choosing staff choosing students choosing staff will replace each other in perpetuity. Lectures in for- eign languages with no translation will become the most popular event of the week. The institution will declare its politics, and people will wait for the state- ments with eager anticipation. Statements of position in the society will be greeted with warm condescension. Collectivity as an assumption will no longer need to be questioned. Social status and hierarchy within the culture will no longer have any effect on what is produced but will still be understood. No mis- sion statements will exist outside the archives of the place. A description of what’s what will start each morning. No overlaps will be accepted. Keep asking what collectivity is, even if nobody cares, and you will be thrown out. Once ac- cepted, you will stay for a long time, but the faculty will change every other year. Beta-testing rights for all things will become the norm. A strong graphic sensibility for all outside communication will become standard practice. Who is responsible will be the question of the day. Setting something in motion will never be just for its own sake. The observation deck will be broad and wide and show a vast panorama. Populism will be excused. Good cases and bad cases will create a new language. Cultural importation will increase. Dispersal will endure. Open access will be the cause of many arguments. Medical centers will proliferate. Environmental controls will be quickly out of date. You still won’t be able to change the temperature at the Whitney. There will be no institu- tional furniture. Custom-built databases and permanent data managers will be as common as their absence today. Drinks trolleys will be everywhere and reg- ularly get restocked. Leakage will remain a problem. Speed of production will cause arguments. Suspended judgment will no longer be a defense. Interest from others will be the source of contentment. Continuing regardless will be viewed as a crime. Conditions of consumption and reception will be someone else’s problem. Democracy and nondemocracy of space will considered at the start of each year. Abuse of space will be encouraged. Uniforms will be op- tional. It will feel as if unicorns are about to return. There will be lots of differ- ent buildings. Many FedEx boxes will arrive every day full of new, unexpected things. Free FedEx accounts will be created in order to forward unwanted new things to friends. Orchards will bloom. The potential for growth will be sus- pended. The department of rhetoric and announcements will hold people at bay. No one will feel qualified to develop a curriculum. Secondary production techniques will be encouraged. Large roaring fires will frame places of thought.


An infinite number of departments will be established to represent the diverse interests of the place. A place to play music will be maintained and well loved. No painting will take place, but not because anyone prevents it. The removal of the logo from the jacket will no longer be a dream. You can still have the jacket and the logo. Instant mythology will flourish. The question of when things should finish will become a distant memory. An extensive program of field trips and events will take place before anyone gets up. Traces of these journeys will remain in the stories of the drivers.

will be good to send it out digitally, mail.

\perhaps it should be  in a few parts. so the next part of lines will continue after the old one is washed away.

at the end . a questionary about weather iit is wished to continue.

i realized.. that you should not pay so much importance.. to being great.. not give art so much of a status..

its all just about resistance.

resistance of boredom, of life nowadays.

life as it is now.. is very horrible.. i mean i live and i see things around me.. and it is all i feel so distant from this circle.. its like people go about doing their stupid jobs.. as if its fine.. i mean an accountant, how can you seriously tell me that doing peoples taxes for money and having a hobby of ultimate frizzby can be your life.. that is inane. that and reading bestsellers and switching the tv off as soon as a nonamerican film shows up..

when i think of people living like that it makes me angry.i understand that people don’t have money to educate themselves.. but its about just seeing life and things and knowing that its wrong. if you see it then you cannot be part of it.and you have to take the responsibility to fight for your existence as you want it. i would really rather just kill myself then have a life like that..

total mediocracy . giving life meaning through having bowling parties and meeting friends. people with mediocre lifes like sports activities. and trips. sightseeing. the like taking pictures with monuments. they like to go to the hairdresser. they like postoffices.

all these things piss me off. i wish that all people would realize that a world that is money driven is wrong. and can be changed.

for me work for money is the lowest of a humans activity. people should only do the work that is needed to keep food and supplies provided. everyone should be his own designer.and people should be orgaznied in communities that would help each other do these trivial things like getting wood from the forest. 1-2 people would constantly exchange so that nobody has to get bored.. if there is 100 people in the village. then maybe 1 person would have to go get wood 2ce a year and it would be a pleasant trip. each time they go get it they should make it somehow different.

this is just an example.

i feel you can make art by living in this fucked society. just by seeing it. you can see whats wrong.and propose some changes.

like valerie solans did.. her main point was that a capitalist society is totally fucked..and that it proposes nothing for those few who realize how fucked it is.

even the art has to work super hard in order to sustain.. has to get corrupted has to total swim in the system.. just to be able to comment and change it.. people working for the smallest amount of money, just enough to keep them alive but never enough to really provide some chances.. always have to keep going for more and more.. and me. im at the beginning of my life.. my challenge is to somehow create a system for myself as well.. there seems to be little in this world worth going for.. wanting. maybe thats the effect of being in xinbeitou.. where everything is so ugly.. and where people are so ok with the lifes they have.. perhaps thats why there is no crises here.. in europe where many people live on the burden of the country..where many have realized.. and don’t want to work for little.. prefer to get 800 for not working then to work a lot for 1200.. it all collapsed. because its wrong. very very wrong.and i think at were in the time now when many people many nations realized that everything is fucked. that too many have being was all like a cheese.. full of wholes.. and everyone was trying to dig a small ball for themselves.. when they were on the side of the shadow.. and now it all collapsed. it is of elastic consistency.. thats why it appeared to still be in shape.. until now. what am i going to do now. what can i do? from here?

i am interested in people and their reasons and motivations in life.,

i hope to affect all people i meet to expect more from their lifes.. to not accept.

i want change.

and when i was 18 i thought that traveling a lot can be a cure.. but its not, if you stay somewhere 1 week you get a glimpse.. but  even this glimpse lets you assume.. the condition.. and then if you stay a month.. already you have to position yourself.. its odd staying longer.. people don’t understand what you are doing.. not many have the time to be somewhere.. not working. or studying.. means you’re rich. im not talking about myself now but this is what i can get from my position.

you get sucked into the swirl..

marlon brand said that acting his life.. was no more then a plumbers life.. what you do in the end you do to feed yourself and your family. but actually when i went to the shooting i saw many people were fathers and mothers.. i saw that.. and they were there for the exclusivity..for to give importance to their life. to give something beyond.

du gibst mir immer gelegenheit zum glänzen

why should you ..

you should just know what you want to be. and ask yourself why.

ask yourself how you can make sense of the world around you and what you want to do with it. to do that you need to spend enough time being in the world. if you stay at home ,this does not apply to you. the question is how do you stay at home. if you know about her.

thanks, i really miss this polaroid! i am still in Taipei, and what about you? in Austria or wanna come to Taiwan? i wrote an article to review my past year, but it is too long to translate it into English. i wish i could share it with you…. there is one main sentence: “…..Walking on the ridge of Art, right side is an abyss digging by reason, and the left side is a valley cutting by madness. It’s breeze leading a man with eyeshade, stepping forward carefully and trembling….” i am not good in translation, wish you could know what i tried to say. yunyu.


Jenny Picco 19 February at 20:05 i apsolutely understand what you also still somehow on my search for BALANCE. reason doesn’t really interest me so much..but without it creation seems too insignificant.. like creating magic tricks. im sure esp . in photography you will have this issue all the time.. is it just magic or is there some meaning in there as well.. i look at great art work..and there are a few people who are floating in my head all the time.. you know like you see some artwork and then you read everything you can find on this person..and they start to live in your head.. i came back from austria..i graduated 3 weeks ago..and actually since then i didn’t rest.. i got into a tempo of constant research.. of reading looking at things..and then i go to a acting class now.. because i want to reestablish my connection to imagination. this is always a problem , reason is too dominant and creation doesn’t happened with it. then there is great artist like duchamp and hans haacke who manage to get this balance . to be smart and tricky about things but in a very imaginative and clear way.. like sometimes there is people who make art in a way that by adding this or that they think that they make their work about some important isssues.. but with others you feel it . you sometimes feel in a work that is totally imaginative you feel it is about something else again..this is what i am looking closely at. i cannot get myself to do something irrelevant. and if thats the case now then i just do reading and looking. the other day i was dreaming that i could put art into everything that i touch. also i was reading a lot about dream and art. and the relation. in dream the imagination works in such magic and sophisticated ways. i want to have that even when i am awake.. but in waking time.. there is too much real stuff to deal with. cooking cleaning , bad weather. so much bullshit. but i tell you .. as long as you know that you are going and you have some idea in your mind of what you are looking for. then it is all fine. no matter how much time it takes you to get there. it is the most important thing to believe in something. even if that is not evident. writing is important. so that when you cannot move yourself to do something at least there is an evidence of your thought. ok . i wrote a lot now.. we live in beitou now.. you should come over here one day when you have time.. when the weather gets nice.. we can take a walk up the mountain its really nice..